Moving Forward (Even When the Past Calls)
A phone call from the school V was going to attend in OKC, inquiring about her enrollment for next school year.
Photos of our old house and its curb appeal-loving updates, under its new owners.
Calls and texts from best friends expressing how much they miss us (and we miss them!)
These little moments, when our much loved past collides with our present, are tough to swallow. Have you ever had that weird sensation in which you remember precisely how it felt to be somewhere else and to be someone else and yet to be fully rooted in the present?
To be honest, these moments completely unnerve me. Despite my (sometimes feigned) confidence, I doubt my decisions and miss aspects of our old lives.
With every courageous move forward, we have to shed a bit of the old skin, and it's painful.
There is no growth, no ambition or dream seeking when our feet are too firmly rooted to consider the other path in the woods.
But sometimes, we have to look back over our shoulder and acknowledge that where we came from--with all of its faults and disappointments--is still part of our story and always a part of us.
I won't send my kids to the much lauded city private school, and I won't ever sit under the covered porch of our old house with our closest friends and neighbors again (because the new owners removed it, although that's besides the point.)
But I do get to embrace the sand between my toes on the beach overlooking the Chicago skyline, experience undiscovered horizons from the cozy perch of our new Casita, build community in our new church (finally!) and beach town, and pursue my plan to write a book (and that's all I'm going to say about that.)
So I want to encourage you to keep moving forward. Even if you miss aspects of where or who you were, remember that stagnant water doesn't grow new life, so keep things flowing and changing. And on this chilly, damp fall morning, with a warming cup of always the same coffee, I am grateful for this journey and for snippets of my old life.
Are you for yours?
For these moments remind us of how far we've come, and yet how far we must still travel on this journey.
In what ways do memories from your past influence you today?